- Interest in having sex with people other than their “Life Partners” or “Significant Others”
- Watching people having sex in order to learn new skills or techniques
- As a catalyst for improving their sex lives and relationships
- As a way of “rebelling” against the repressive attitudes of society towards open sexuality
- As a way of meeting people and forming friendships with like minded people
- As a way of exploring personal boundaries and limitations.
- Simply to get laid!
Although the swinging scene is unfortunately not always the best place to explore male bisexuality, it is an environment in which bisexual women and women who are curious about their bisexual tendencies will feel instantly at home. Many of the women who swing (either alone or as part of a mixed gender couple) are bisexual and this type of behaviour is actively encouraged by both men (who want to watch) and women (who want to do). The freedom for women to explore their bisexuality is sometimes the deciding factor which makes many couples take the plunge.
One thing we would like to point out is that many men would like to see their partners having sex with another woman. Quite frankly, we feel that it can be the most beautiful experience to watch two women making love to each other. However, men would be wise to remember that this has to be something the lady wants to do and SHE should be the one to instigate any approaches. There isnothing worse than seeing a man wandering forlornly around the club asking women if they’d like to have sex with his partner!
You should also realise that when you are talking to a couple you should engage BOTH of them in conversation. This is particularly relevant to single guys. We see many of them only ever talking to the ladies and ignoring the male partner – you are more likely to click with the lady if you click with the couple. After all, would you share your partner with someone who didn’t have the decency to speak to you?
In the past, swingers seem to have been somewhat unaware of (or perhaps confused by) alternative sexual practices such as BDSM or Tantric Sex. This is changing (perhaps due to the improved communication channels afforded by the Internet), and these days you will find people in the scene who are knowledgeable about many of these more specialised areas of the sexual spectrum. Some forms of BDSM more extreme than spanking or very light bondage may make people uncomfortable.
Some modern women will no doubt find the swinging scene to be a welcome dose of sanity in an increasingly insane world. Our culture is often cruel to women who enjoy sex and see nothing wrong with going out and getting it. For example, how many times have you heard a women called a “slag” or a “slut” – or the utterly awful American “ho”? When a man goes out seeking sex (and getting it!) he is labelled as a “stud” – hardly fair is it? In the swinging scene these women are appreciated for their sex drives, assertiveness, and willingness to explore rather than being derided for expressing a very human need.
Many swingers learn a lot about themselves and about otherwise hidden aspects of their natural, latent sexuality. Swingers are less performance driven when it comes to sex and many newcomers are surprised to find that a room full of swingers having sex may not be an all out humping orgy! Whilst this does happen , you are just as likely to find the entire room in a languid state of heightened arousal where every breath, stroke and lick is savoured like a fine drop of wine. Experienced swingers view some aspects of sex almost as a ritual and have successfully removed performance driven issues from their sex lives. How refreshing to see several flaccid men in a room simply enjoying the experience of being with like minded souls – compared to the new single guys who slink away for fear of being seen not sporting an impressive erection for even a minute.
Swingers relax and learn to appreciate the heights of sexual pleasure and view the gang bangs, orgies, and mass groping sessions as a source of infinite pleasure and intimacy rather than as something to be used as a bargaining tool or a boost to the ego. Swingers learn to relax and accept that their body is no better or worse than the others they will come across (!) in their lifetime and that empathy, sympathy, consideration, mutual respect, and a driving need to explore new boundaries are more important than penis or breast size, age, race, or religion.
A word about confidence is appropriate here. We have seen hundreds of people enter the club nervous, worried, anxious about removing their clothing; shy of every bump and perceived wrinkle and scared that they are about to be judged. One of the nicest moments we’ve ever had was seeing a very very large lady shyly remove her clothes, no doubt fearful of the usual judgemental attitude that she had grown up with. No-one batted an eyelid. No-one commented. No-one laughed or turned away. Everyone appreciated her body for what it was, her personality for who SHE was, and we watched her self confidence increase with every step towards the pool.
That is the essence of swinging – it can instil in you a deeper tolerance of other human beings. It can lift your mind to heights of ecstasy you had never imagined existed simply by removing inhibitions and society-imposed codes which blunt your senses and take away your ability to marvel and feel.
