If you are not 100% comfortable with the idea that a complete stranger may find you sexually attractive and deliberately attempt to flirt with you then you probably won’t be comfortable at the club. If you are in a relationship that is the slightest bit shaky or are consumed by jealousy then we strongly recommend that you think carefully before joining us.
If either of you has a hidden agenda or is looking for a replacement partner, you’re probably in for a major emotional disaster. Similarly if you are entering the swinging scene to “score points” or to “prove a point” you are in for some very rough times. If you are unable to communicate directly with your partner about relationships and sex, your needs, wants, and desires, you’re almost certainly going to expose yourself to far more hurt than you can handle. Sex is an activity capable of provoking the most vehement of emotional responses in even the most placid, easy going human being. The complex issues surrounding the life style WILL invoke many emotions and possibly force you to answer questions about yourself that you’ve never asked before; if you aren’t comfortable dealing with emotions, or being forced to take a long, hard look at your attitudes and tolerance levels you should wait and think about it carefully before coming to the club or entering into the life style. It is not for everybody.
In the modern age we are all aware of the dangers of unprotected sex – i.e.: sex without condoms. At many swinging clubs safe sex is promoted through the provision of condoms, but no-one will force you to use them. Many of the couples meet regularly for sex and have the kind of relationship where trust and honesty are so implicit that their perception of any risk is low. At the end of the day it is personal choice but our recommendation would be always use a condom.
You should also note that in Clubs, most or all of the play rooms have windows leading to the corridors and rest areas. This means that whilst having sex (even if the room is empty of other people) others may still be able to watch you with your partner. If this disturbs you then either angle yourself away from the windows, move to a place in the room where you are hidden (and most of the rooms should have these areas), or don’t use the play rooms. There is something many people find deeply erotic about being watched whilst for others it leaves a creepy, soiled feeling. Go with whatever feels best for you and you should be OK.
You should always remember that swinging is about personal choice and the freedom to explore your own boundaries. If you are willing to have sex with a stranger you should also be willing to face up to the fact that, sometimes, those strangers may have different attitudes to your own – attitudes which, to you, may seem strange, incomprehensible, or downright dangerous. If your personal border is that you use a dental dam when having oral sex with someone then you should communicate this to your partner; no-one in the swinging scene will look down on you for exercising YOUR personal choice. They may ask why – but this, again, is part of the communication and learning process. We are all travellers on the same road and occasionally even the most travelled people need to stop and ask for directions!
If you have any deep seated phobias against bisexuality, homosexuality, or any of the other “-alities” connected with sex then you should be prepared to rethink your attitudes. If you are bi- or homo-sexual it is unlikely that your preferences will attract any comment but, if they do, then you should be prepared to either ignore any negative comment or embrace the positive. The scene is not for those shy people hiding away in closets!
If you are a single male, you might actually be better off waiting until you are in a suitable relationship before attempting to become active in swinging – most swing clubs allow few if any single men to attend their events.
