At some point during a Party Night, the chances are that even if you don’t have sex you are
likely to be getting very close to people. Use some common sense – take a shower, brush your teeth, and (if necessary) shave before showing up. If you like to use your fingers inside your partners as part of sex, don’t forget to clip your fingernails short. Remember – nobody likes a minger!
You will no doubt have remembered to bring your towel to the club so if you decide to wash or shower during the night, please be careful not to use somebody else’s towel or washcloth on your eyes or genitals. Courtesy, common sense, and respect – remember!
Sometimes whilst you are socialising (or playing) a new couple may be given a tour of the club. Whilst no-one expects you to stop what you’re doing it is good form to at least acknowledge the newcomers (a grunted “see you later” is better than ignoring them!). The pool is a good place to get involved in conversations with people; most people at swinging events are more than happy to answer questions and talk about their experience of the scene. Don’t be afraid to socialise, ask questions, accept compliments and preen a little when people tell you how fantastic you look.
Unless you’ve decided beforehand, you should stay with your partner for the duration of the Party. If you have decided to split up and have fun separately that’s OK but don’t just abandon your partner and go off on your own; an abandoned partner can quickly became a jealous and emotional partner. We aren’t talking about just the ladies here – the men are not emotional deserts and we can feel abandoned too! Remember, at the club everyone is here to have fun with their friends. Of course issues will arise from time to time that mean you and your partner need to have a private or serious discussion, particularly if you are about to push another boundary and need to communicate with each other first. It’s polite to do this somewhere a little more private.
Traditions at clubs vary and many venues have only one or two rooms where the “gang bangs” and orgies take place. Whilst there is no specific etiquette for any of our rooms please note that the mood may be different from room to room. Some rooms reverberate with laughter, others are a pool of tranquillity – use your judgement and choose a room which matches your mood. The atmosphere in the club is sexy – particularly watching and showing off is encouraged. Whilst it is not considered bad manners to watch, it IS considered bad manners to go and sit down next to someone and stare at them. Use common sense and think about how you would feel in a similar situation.
And so to the question of the demon drink; Is alcohol a good thing or a bad thing when swinging? This largely depends on how you handle your alcohol! We strongly recommend that you don’t drink to excess on your first visit or while you and your partner are still new to the scene. Having your first experience whilst absolutely hammered out of your skull is not conducive to leaving you feeling good about it in the morning. There is also the issue of drinking and driving – we cannot do anything more than point you to a local hotel. People having sex when they’ve had a few drinks is fine but there is nothing pretty about two piss heads getting it on! Too much alcohol will leave you wondering whether you had sex with someone because you were pissed or whether you exercised freedom of choice in a conscious effort to broaden your horizons.
The most important aspect of Enjoying Yourself is to keep track of where you are, where your partner is, are you within the limits you mentally set yourselves and communicated to each other, and are you doing what you want to do whilst respecting other peoples limits and boundaries? If you don’t want to have sex with someone, just say NO – tactfully and courteously. You always have the right to say NO to anything, and if someone doesn’t take NO for an answer you should always report it to a member of staff. We frown on people who do not respect the personal limits, boundaries, and choices of our members and we have been known to terminate memberships in order to enforce this policy.
Sometime, sooner rather than later, someone you approach will say “No thanks”. Don’t take offence, wonder what’s wrong with you, ask yourself if they think you or your partner are ugly, beat yourself up, or think you are a bad person. Accept it graciously and never say “WHY NOT??”
